The Manga Club Incident
by kasai tenshi
Summary: Upon receiving a strange request form the Manga Club, Haruhi decides to lent them Kyon and Koizumi as models for their new yaoi doujinshi.However, things get awkward...KoizumiKyon, Kyon's POV
1. Apparently, the school has a Manga Club

**Hello everyone!**

**About this story, I tried writting it in the style of the light novels, so at times the thoughts and replies of Kyon are mixed up. I doubt there are any spoilers, more like even if there are they would go off unnoticed for those who don't know them... This is KoizumiKyon, but nothing really explicit, so I don't think I should rate it M...Also, sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, English is not my first language. **

**Disclaimer: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya does not belong to me, neither the other manga/anime contained in the references! **

**These being said, enjoy!**

* * *

If only I hadn't come to school that day. If only I hadn't gone straight to the "headquarters" of the S.O.S. Brigade just after finishing my classes. If only Haruhi hadn't been born… Certainly, none of these would have happened.

As I said, it was a day like any another, and no matter how much I wanted to go home and take a nap, I couldn't do so if I still wanted my head in its proper place. Why, you ask? Because our Brigade Commander wouldn't forgive anyone who skipped club activities, even if those respective activities were currently playing board games with Koizumi and drinking Asahina-san's delicious tea. Well, it was already established I couldn't go on living without tasting Asahina-san's heart-warming tea, the only good thing about going to the clubroom after school, so I just obeyed Haruhi's orders and showed up everyday without fail.

When I reached the clubroom, Nagato was sitting as expressionless as usual in her corner reading a book, Koizumi was playing chess by himself and Asahina-san was already dressed up in her maid outfit and offered me a cup of fresh tea. The only one missing was Haruhi, who said she had something to do and she'll be late – it's not like I really missed her loud presence.

"Good afternoon. Do you want to play?" Koizumi greeted me with that strange smile, and seeing I had nothing better to do, I got seated in my usual place and started playing chess.

An hour or so passed until the door was banged open and a certain brown-haired girl entered the clubroom with a huge scary grin on her face, yelling:

"Sorry for being late!" though obviously the feeling of regretting something was completely unknown to her.

"I was at the Manga Club, doing some research!" she cheerfully spitted out.

To research what?

"Kyon, what could I be researching at a manga club aside of manga?! Have you gone dumber?"

That's why I asked, what kind of research?

"Well, not much, in the end I didn't find anything mysterious in any manga, like mysteriously ripped off pages, vanished lines or alien messages. Anyway, it seems they have a problem, and I, as the good person I am, offered to help them!"

Hitler was a good person too… And besides, if you are looking for strange alien messages in manga, you just go read a SF. Haruhi threw her bag somewhere and sat on the commander's desk, proceeding to tell us the details.

"Of course, the S.O.S. Brigade does nothing for free, so we agreed that if we are able to complete the task, the Manga Club will stand on our side against the Student Council!"  
Just what kind of members does the Manga Club have?! Making a deal with Haruhi is like making a deal with the devil, except a hundred times worse. Just as I was preparing to make a counter-attack, that damn Koizumi was already saying:

"It's a great idea helping our fellow colleagues from another club, I can only praise Suzumiya-san's eagerness to help other people when in need! As expected of our Brigade Commander!"

Haruhi nodded energetically as she received her daily ear-candy, and went on with the explanations:

"Recently, it seems that the activity of the Manga Club had been stalled, due to the fact that they cannot come up with any new ideas. They said they are tired of four panels, and as for their favorite couplings, they have written so many stories that they got bored of them. The Comiket is just round the corner, and if they don't do anything, their circle will be canceled!"

Comiket?! Circle?! Isn't this a simple high school manga club?!

"Kyon, you sure are dense today! They are actually members of the renown circle XXXXX! If they don't come up with anything, they will lose their places in the industry and their future jobs as manga-kas! Listen, the president herself asked me with tears in her eyes to help them! We must do something, and we will, I can guarantee you!!!"

Don't tell me you're an otaku now… okay, we might as well help these poor people…, I sighed thinking that maybe Haruhi had became a normal member of the society which wants to be kind to other people. I innocently asked:

"By the way, what kind of manga are they making?"

"YAOI!" squealed Haruhi in excitement. "I thought they were a bit weird at first, but after they showed me their previous works, I instantly became their fan!"

I think they're far more normal than you are. Anyway, if I understood well, you just gave in to your desires and dragged us into this mess. However, what are we supposed to help with?! We can't either draw or write something like that… not that we would but anyway.

"Weeellll… I did say they lacked ideas, right? More specifically character ideas. That's why I said they can use you and Koizumi as their models! You should be working properly, understood??"

Say what?! My jaw dropped instantly, and even Koizumi lost composure for a moment, his smile having stiffened painfully. Let's see now, how are you gonna continue your ass-kissing, huh, Koizumi?! The evilness of my thought almost amazed me, but I had yet to live to see everything, and I should've known better than that, as Koizumi casually replied:

"If that's what Suzumiya-san wants, I shall do my best."

Now I understood the true meaning of fear.

In that moment, a small voice was heard, as Asahina-san dared ask:

"Uhm, what's yaoi?"

Oh, Asahina-san, please don't let your pure soul be contaminated by the seeds of evil planted by Haruhi!

"Haaa?" loudly laughed Haruhi. "Mikuru-chan doesn't know?" she said as she drifted closer to me.

Be gone, demon! I wanted to scream.

"It's all about boys love, see???" Haruhi chirped as in a matter of not even seconds she pushed Koizumi across the table and on top of me as I felt down with my chair.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" screamed Asahina-san, turning red, as Nagato had lifted her gaze from the book and was quietly staring at the scene unfolding in the clubroom.

What can I say about me… I guess I was just beyond any kind of shock to be able to say anything. Koizumi had a weird expression, as I suspected he was about to burst out laughing, as of Haruhi, she seemed quite delighted. And just when I was thinking she couldn't take up any other strange hobbies.

"HEY HARUHI, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted, trying to get up.

"Hold it a sec Kyon, I must take reference pictures!"

Of course, Haruhi wasn't listening. As I was thinking about how I should commit suicide when those photos saw daylight, something even worse happened. Well, I guess from that person's point of view it was a good thing, huh… The president of the Manga Club entered our clubroom in order to have a talk with Haruhi… of course, she remained frozen in her tracks when observing our absolute fanservice, and all she could do was faint. I took advantage of the moment and stood up, while Haruhi's attention was diverted by our guest. The all so kind Asahina-san hurried up to her and after splashing her with some cold water, she recovered and stood up in a daze. She had black short slightly curled hair, and had several earrings of different shapes. It seemed as she was already a third year.

"Uhm, sorry for the disturbance…" she muttered.

"No problem, you should better go to the nursery and rest for a bit, are you alright?" said Asahina-san in a worried tone.

"I'm… okay now." said the president." Let's just say it's my first time seeing a pairing... like this."

We're NOT a real pairing! I shouted, but Haruhi cut me out in an instant.

"So, what do you think? Is this good enough?" she asked with a cocky smile.

"It's more than enough." laughed the president. "To be honest, I haven't really thought you would go that far in order to help us, I'm really grateful for your efforts." She deeply bowed.

It's not like a bow is going to turn me gay. Asahina-san, please don't turn your head away from me! And definitely, I'll make that Koizumi bastard pay for agreeing to everything Haruhi says!

"No problem, no problem, Hayashi-president! I said we will help and I intend on doing so! I will provide with the two male members of the S.O.S. Brigade, and I allow you to use them however you like, as models and such!"

Hey Haruhi, are you a pimp now?! Don't go off selling us to some host agency, will you? Not that Koizumi wouldn't fit as a host, but as for myself, I prefer a peaceful life while drinking Asahina-san's tea. If you won't allow me that, I won't forgive you!

"Uhm, is it really okay?" asked the president, trying to be considerate.

Before I could reply (for the second time today!), Koizumi smiled his trademark smile, while saying:

"It's okay President-san, if it's not something too difficult to do, we will gladly help you!"

WHAT?!

"Now, now, Kyon, don't be so noisy!" Haruhi preached at me. "An uke should just obey whatever he's told to, so shut up for once, will ya?"

My jaw dropped again. Just what kind of person do you think I am?! As I saw Koizumi trying to suppress a smirk, my self-esteem just dropped down by 80 percent. But just how could I go against the insane being that is Haruhi?! As I was thinking about these things, it had already been established – we were to be the next characters for the "XXXXX" circle's doujinshi. I was starting to doubt Koizumi's preferences and I was terrified by the things I would be forced doing. Now let me set this straight – if I could, I would've run with a speed of 100 km per hour (or even faster), but considering the fact that I might've triggered the end of the world as we knew it, I couldn't pull it out. Yes, as much as I hated it, I wasn't a person who could just throw away everything on a whim (as opposed to Haruhi).

"Uhm, is it alright for you to come to our club instead of the, uhm, S.O.S. Brigade for the next week?" asked the president.

"Of course it's okay!" spitted Haruhi out. "All of us will come help! I can also dress up Mikuru-chan in whatever you want, so feel free to pick your cosplay of choice!"

I could see Asahina-san going pale, as she stared at her shoes anxiously. I'm sorry Asahina-san, but I'm a victim myself, I can't do a thing!

"Listen here Kyon, Koizumi-kun! If you dare skip, I will have you decapitated by the wrath of God!"

Good choice of words Haruhi, Koizumi is already chuckling at your close-to-be-true statement. God, please don't let her be god!

"Also," said Hayashi-san apparently gaining confidence, "could you two come pay us a visit right now? I would like to introduce you to the other club members, so they can think up of something until tomorrow."

"Let's go!" Haruhi again answered in other peoples' place, and proceeded dragging me and Koizumi by our neckties straight to the Manga Club.

And so, we entered a clubroom resembling ours, but nonetheless filled up with very different stuff. They had a bookcase full of manga and even some collectible figurines (they haven't blackmailed anyone, so they didn't have a computer). The desks were arranged in a semi-circle (is that why it's called a circle?!) and all had drawing supplies spread all over them. Three girls were seated and one short guy was up, staring outside the window. The first thing I could hear was not really a greeting, but a squeal.

"Kyaaa! Look! It's a seme smile LIVE!" one of the girls screamed shamelessly pointing out at Koizumi.

I was starting to panic… do people like these really exist in our school? As I was pondering, another girl answered:

"The other looks pretty too, much like the uke who's straight at first but will eventually give in to the seme!"

Don't go labeling people you don't even know! And you too, Haruhi! How could you agree to something like this?! Weren't your brigade members precious to you?!

"This is Koizumi-kun, and this is…"

"He's just Kyon!" said Haruhi cutting into Hayashi-san's phrase.

"Okay… They are members of the S.O.S. Brigade who said will help us! These being said, START WORKING!" said the president on a tone which could easily compete with Haruhi's usual demeanor. I was scared. "Ritsuka-chan, prepare some chairs and tea for our guests!" she ordered the short boy, who hurried up to answer with a terrifying expression: "Right away, Hayashi-sensei!"

What was so terrifying about him, you ask? Well, how should I put it… he was like the male version of our beloved Asahina-san… a shota. Wearing a creepy girlish smile, he went on preparing the tea, while occasionally dropping things and even burning himself once… I could see he was properly trained in being clumsy (I couldn't exactly imagine a guy being like that in real life).

"Let me introduce you to _my_ club members… this is Ritsuka-chan, our mascot…"

Ritsuka-"chan" cutely waved to us… He had light-colored hair and really huge blue eyes – I suspected he wore contacts.

"This is Tamura-san, a second year."

It was the girl who said ugly things about me. She had middle length straight black hair, and wore a malevolent smile. I didn't like her at all.

"Nice to meet you." she plainly said.

"This is Akiko-chan, also a second year. She's the one who's going to inherit my title after I graduate."

Long blonde hair, tied in two loose ponytails, a dark blue sweater and beautiful black eyes… what was such a beautiful girl doing here with these freaks?! Was she also dragged along like our Asahina-san? But for her to be the next president…

"I humbly apologize for the trouble we had caused you by our sudden request, I hope you will be able to excuse our rudeness and allow us to use you as models for our manga."

Such a polite way of speaking… This girl was giving off a bad vibe.

"And this is Shuu."

That's all? No other description? Who is this person?! Doesn't look like a high-school student at all… This was the girl who squealed over Koizumi, so I assumed she had really bad taste and was easy to deceive. However, she had very sharp eyes.

"Shuu" only nodded mysteriously, yet earlier she seemed quite lively. Just crossed my mind… this club seemed weird enough to me, why didn't Haruhi join it in the first place?! Then, I would've been able to enjoy a normal high school life.

"Well, these people weren't here when I checked it out, and besides Kyon you really are rude… they aren't weird at all! All true artists are like that!"

Compared to you, I agree they are somehow normal. And what artists do you know of anyway?!

"Oh, and I forgot to introduce myself… I'm Hayashi, glad to meet you."

"Now that we're over with the formalities, what costume should Mikuru-chan wear tomorrow? Hmmm, I'm so excited about it! She ought to learn more from Ritsuka-chan!" butted in Haruhi who had already drunk two cups of other people's tea and was enjoying herself.

"Mikuru-chan is really cute, but our Ritsuka is better! Though we don't really have any cosplay outfits… guess it would be great to have her serve us tea for a change! Haruhi-san, could you have her wear the waitress outfit you used in your movie?"

"Then it's decided! If I think about it, it's been so long since she hasn't worn it… Kyon!"

"Yeah?" I responded half-heartedly.

"Make sure the outfit is prepared by tomorrow! Go right away and deliver it to the laundry store! Hayashi-president, do you have any more business with him now?"

"Shuu?" asked the president eyeing the brown-haired girl.

"I've already finished it."

What did she just finish?!

"No problem, he's dismissed for today! Shuu had already finished the preliminary sketches!"

"Heard that Kyon? Now go beat it!" shouted Haruhi and threw me out of the manga clubroom.

Sketches? These people are dead serious about it! With an anxious face, I dragged my feet to our clubroom, hoping to feel more relieved after seeing Asahina-san's smiling face. However, the guilt only weighted over me, thinking of how I wanted to see her again in the waitress uniform.

"Ah.. Kyon-kun..!" she turned her small head in surprise after seeing me enter the room. "Have you… finished already?"

"Yeah. Haruhi assigned me to take it to the laundry… the waitress costume."

I could see her composure falling apart, as she displayed an expression of pure despair. Her gaze fell down, and I really felt like hugging her and telling her everything was going to be alright, however I couldn't possibly hug her, and besides telling her everything was going to be alright would've been a lie.

Nagato was still reading her book, apparently unfazed by the events which had befallen me and Asahina-san. She wasn't shocked at Haruhi's demonstration of "boys love" either. Just as I wondered if there was anything in the world that could surprise her, Nagato lifted her gaze and stared at me with those profound eyes of hers which seemed to be piercing right through my pupils. Then she blinked.

I sighed, packing up Asahina-san's costume and heading to the laundry store close to the station. I said goodbye, but nobody answered back. Asahina-san was still sulking in a corner, while Nagato wasn't exactly a greetings' person. With an empty heart, I finally left the doomed clubroom.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	2. Day 1

The next day, I would've done anything to make classes longer – yeah, I never expected myself to say that either. Haruhi was in really high spirits that day, and that was exactly what I dreaded. I knew I couldn't skip club activities, and _that_ time was drifting closer and closer. I cursed myself for all the times I said "It's too much!" – now I would've played even in the rugby nationals, I would've even shot 10 crappy movies with my name big on the credits, I would've even gone to a secluded island full of mass-murderers lurking around, only to be able to escape this situation. Haruhi, just do whatever you want, board a rocket and take off, I promise I'll go with you and chase after aliens, but please, only this… stop it.

And so, the classes were over. With the despair of the whole humanity hanging upon my shoulders, I took off to the Manga Club. There was only one small light: Asahina-san's waitress silhouette (I had already picked up the costume from the laundry store during the lunch break). Upon arriving, I noticed I was the last to be there, and Haruhi nagged at me:

"What did you do for 20 minutes in the toilet, huh?!"

I spent the time being sorry for myself, thank you very much for asking.

"Don't worry, I'll go easy on you!" laughed Koizumi.

Don't enjoy it, you bastard!

The manga club members laughed. And there, in a corner, Asahina-san's kindness was brimming while she silently brewed the tea leaves. It was obvious this was an unfitted environment for her, so I sighed. The waitress cosplay felt very appropriate worn in this room though. I was not surprised that Nagato wasn't there, I was sure she just enjoyed her book in her basically own clubroom.

"Now that we've gathered here, let's start!" said Hayashi-san with a grin. "Koizumi-kun and Kyon-kun, your job is very simple – you just have to stay still." she laughed.

Is that all? I sighed with relief.

"So, here we go. Haruhi-san had a great story idea, and so we kindda used it in making our script. I and Shuu worked on the script, Akiko-chan is doing the drawing and Tamura-san does the backgrounds and helps with the inking. We have been planning something big, which means we can't just go by the canon."

"Yeah, so here's the story!" chirped Haruhi. "Koizumi-kun is an esper and he meets Kyon while he was on a mission three years ago. They meet again in the present but Kyon is in love with a girl, so Koizumi-kun tries hard to make Kyon like him. However, since that doesn't really work, Koizumi-kun murders the girl and makes Kyon believe she returned to the future, because the girl was actually a time traveler (but not a waitress). Then, Koizumi-kun forces Kyon to sleep with him and Kyon of course falls in love with Koizumi-kun and they seem to live happily ever after, HOWEVER, after a time another guy appears and wants to snatch Kyon and Koizumi-kun has to fight him but of course he wins. The end. So that's how it is!"

WHATTA HELL?!

"Based on this story, I and Shuu made the names and now Akiko-chan will draw them, of course using you as models. Questions?"

Yeah, would you please kill me?

"Kyon, don't be stupid, now get working!"

What do you understand exactly by "working"…?

Asahina-san served me a cup of tea, while staring at the ground. Nooo! Look at me! But before I could whine, Haruhi snatched my cup and drank it herself, not forgetting to bitterly spit out:

"Get there and do whatever you're told to."

Easy for you to say, really.

I got up and stood in front of the semi-circle of desks, and Koizumi stood up next to me. We didn't do anything for about 5 minutes but stay there dumbly. Haruhi was chatting with (harassing?!) Ritsuka, while Hayashi-san and the others were apparently discussing some manga-related things. The only one looking at us and drawing was the beautiful and polite girl, Akiko-san. Just when I thought all we needed to do was stay there peacefully, Shuu said:

"Could you please get closer and face each other?"

Huh?! Haruhi flashed me a glare, and so I turned to see Koizumi's face in a close-up.

"Kyon-kun, I want you to put up a displeased expression…"

Good, cause right now I AM displeased.

"…and Koizumi-kun, please put up a smirk."

Yeah, I bet we look funny. I spent two minutes of my life staring into Koizumi's impossible to read eyes with a discontent look on my own. To tell you the truth, I was already getting anxious; Asahina-san was there as well, so I felt some kind of pressure upon myself – I just hoped things wouldn't go any further than that. And how goddamn wrong I was…

"It's enough." said Akiko-san.

You mean I'm free?

"Now, Kyon-san, please get on your knees." continued Akiko-san.

Haaa?! I furrowed my eyebrows in disdain. Before I could even protest, I saw Haruhi snapping and getting closer to me, then shamelessly kicking me in the back of my knees, resulting in me immediately kneeling in front of Koizumi.

"Next time hurry up!" she huffed.

Gaaahh..!!! What's your problem?!

"Koizumi-san, please lower your head and look down to Kyon-san. Kyon-san, close your eyes." commanded again Akiko-san.

No way! However, when I saw Haruhi glaring, I instantly shut my eyes for the purpose of avoiding to be pierced by the lasers she was shooting from her eyes (bad pun, huh…).

I wished there wouldn't ever be the need for me to open my eyes again. I just wanted to disappear somewhere far away. I finally realized that my resistance was futile and only dangerous for the world, though for a second I felt the urge to give Koizumi a load of work to do as punishment from my behalf.

"You can open your eyes now." said Akiko-san.

I leave it to you to imagine how I felt when I opened them.

"Akiko-chan… if I remember correctly, that scene wasn't in the names we made…" wondered Hayashi-san.

"That's right. I just wanted to draw it for myself."

WHAAAAT??!!!!

"Bwhahahaha, Kyon you looked so funny…!" burst out Haruhi.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Koizumi lightly chuckled. In that moment, if I could, I would've burnt down the whole Earth, without hesitation. I couldn't, but I knew somebody who could.

I stood up, my gaze facing the floor.

"Koizumi, I warn you…" I muttered under my breath. "Like I warned you that time… If you care about this goddamn world, that is…"

I guess this was the first time I seriously threatened somebody. They say it's a beginning in everything, huh… Koizumi's face lost color and for a second that dumb smile had been washed out – it was me having a bad feeling though.

"What are you muttering there Kyon?! That wasn't in any scene either! Now go back to work!" commanded Haruhi crossing her arms.

Hayashi-san raised an eyebrow, and Akiko-san was silently facing her sheets of paper. She then spoke:

"I'm extremely sorry, Hayashi-sensei, it was a big mistake on my behalf. I know we cannot afford losing our models, and yet… I couldn't… stop…" she whispered her last words.

Couldn't stop…?! Whatta hell?! And why is everyone calling the president "sensei"?!

* * *

**Breaking of the Fourth Wall: Because that's this story's author's alter-ego.**

* * *

"No problem, Akiko-chan, you can draw all you wish, _after_ you finish the manga itself…" answered Hayashi-san in a strange voice.

"Akiko-chan keeps doing that! Tell her to stop, it's scaaary!" whined Shuu.

Wait, why is she whining? Wasn't she the mysterious type? Either way, this seemed like a break to me, so I took my time and breathed. Asahina-san gave me a new cup of tea, and I started to drink it slowly, engulfing myself in the flavor, as if escaping from this clubroom and going back to ours, where my life, even if disturbed by Haruhi, was somehow pleasant.

"I'm sorry for earlier, could you please continue modeling for us?" apologized Akiko-san.

Without even leaving the gap for a reply, Hayashi-san stepped in and said:

"Koizumi-kun and Kyon-kun, please shake hands, I mean, keep the position of shaking hands."

Huh? Is this a match or something?  
"No, it's the moment you two just met, isn't it great?"

After this absolutely random and ignored-by-everybody comment by Ritsuka, we assumed our positions, as I sighed with relief. It appeared Koizumi had indeed comprehended my message, though I had no idea how he had psychologically manipulated this situation going against Haruhi's wishes. After a prolonged hand-shake scene (my hand was starting to sweat…) Hayashi-san finally called it a day and said we could go home. However, Haruhi said she will stay some more in order to review the day's "progress" so me, Koizumi and Asahina-san grabbed our bags and left North High. After we parted with Asahina-san at the station, Koizumi finally said:

"I had done exactly as you told me. Now what?"

His voice was off, and I could feel he was somehow tormented. Suits you right! I would've told him, but I couldn't really tell him, because I wanted to actually ask a different thing:

"How did you do it?"

"Do what? If I recall correctly, you are well aware of my ESP powers. Indeed, I told you they are usable only inside "closed spaces" but even so that doesn't mean I cannot use a trick or two. But you already knew that as well, since it was _me_ you asked to change the situation."

"Not that. I meant how did you go against Haruhi's wishes, noting that it was you who said everything she desires for will turn into reality?"

I won't be deceived anymore by your charades, and seeing this happen as well, I highly doubt Haruhi is some kind of god as you pretend.

"I am guiltier in my conscience for doing something against Suzumiya-san than actually denaturing the situation. Either way, I hope no "closed spaces" will start appearing this night."

"That wasn't what I had asked you!"

"That's true. But let me ask you one thing. How do you know what Suzumiya-san is really wishing for?"

Well it's simple, if she wants something, she goes berserk and eventually obtains it!

"I see. I want to tell you that I do not want any tragedy to occur, but as well I cannot interfere anymore with Suzumiya-san's requests. Please understand the situation and act maturely – we are not kids anymore, there's no need for you to take it seriously."

Easy for you to talk, Mr. Seme-smile Guy! I'd like to see YOU kneeling up in front of me! Koizumi sighed, and added:

"If you can bear with it while at school, then I will do anything so that you'll be pleased and cooperate with Suzumiya-san."

These being said, Koizumi kneeled. In front of me.


	3. Day 2

I must admit it was pretty hard for me to fall asleep – I considered over and over the option of catching an incurable disease or the possibility of breaking one of my legs while falling off my bike. Because I wasn't the best of actors, all I could've done would've been to actually hurt myself in order to be able to skip school. But my self-preservation instinct finally triumphed over my already harmed pride and I just forgot about having a choice in this matter. Even if I were to be hurt, Haruhi would still get angry and put me through even more unreasonable demands to comply; that, if I wanted to see sunlight again **(1)**.

I woke up with a headache and headed to the school over the hill as usual. I kept telling myself nothing would change, but I had a somehow bad feeling about that particular day. As I was chatting with Taniguchi, my thoughts were wandering away making me become absent-minded. Unexpectedly, Haruhi was not in such high spirits today and she seemed rather sulky. I became worried as this was the first time when during a brigade activity she was suddenly losing her vibe. Shrugging off my concern, I just concluded she was having her period and let her be, not wanting to mess with the devil. The classes passed and I was surprised to see her head for our clubroom with a fierce look in her eyes – I think she was feeling it too, the fact that that was not exactly a brigade activity, but another club's. Like the king of a small country, she went to confirm the small property, to see if it was still in her hands. But Haruhi knew no small uneasiness, so after a quick glance and nod, she cheerfully headed to the Manga clubroom, calling for me to follow. Koizumi was already there, and it seemed Asahina-san was sick, so she hasn't come the whole day. Haruhi shook her head in disappointment, but then said Asahina-san was a very useful member who was allowed to rest for a day once in a while. (Liar! Since that shota serves you tea you couldn't care less!)

"It's great to have you back! I was slightly afraid Kyon-kun wouldn't come back again, but as thought I'm glad to be making business with Haruhi-san!" the president said while winking to Haruhi.

"Look! Look! The first three pages are finished!" happily announced Ritsuka.

Koizumi took a step towards Akiko-san's desk and browsed the pages while lightly smiling. He then politely said:

"As expected, the work of a pro."

Akiko-san only nodded, and eyed me. Seeing I had no choice, I gulped and approached, staring at those cursed pieces of paper. Mine and Koizumi's face were really accurate, drawn close one to another. And they were… _sparkling_.

"Shuu tried really hard to make them sparkle, you should be thankful!"

Now she speaks in third person?! What kind of creature is she?!

"But even so Kyon-kun's face looks slightly dumb – he'll look more refined later on though, right, Akiko-san?" commented Tamura-san.

"That is to be taken as obvious. A man will truly shine only when a certain event occurs in his life, therefore we have to reduce his shining until that point. Do not worry Kyon-san, you _will_ shine." said Akiko-san in a language I could not really comprehend, except of the main idea which annoyed me.

I noticed Koizumi had been behaving properly, refraining from his usual taunts and silently sitting in his corner. If I said I wasn't pleased I would've lied, though it was almost impossible for me to understand the reasons for his behavior. I wisely thought not to let my guard down yet, being well aware of his deceiving nature and his acting skills.

But even so, the fact that Haruhi wanted us to pose for a rather immoral manga wasn't gone, and my heartbeats increased, waiting for the guillotine to chop my head down. After a few minutes of drinking tea and chatting, we were ready (NOT!) to resume our job for which we weren't even paid. Hayashi-san said we would both get complementary copies, but who would want to take that _thing_ home?!

"Now, now, here we go again!" chanted the said club president.

"Let us cooperate today as well." added Akiko-san. "First off, I want Koizumi-san to sit on the floor."

"Sit"? Is he a half-demon-dog esper **(2)**?! Ritsuka swept the floor around, and Koizumi sat down, without any complaint, leaning his back unto the wall.

"Now, please bend your legs from your knees, while distancing your legs more and keeping your feet on the floor. Kyon-san, please sit between Koizumi-san's legs, but keep your legs straight."

Huh?!

"I'm sorry if not having explained properly. You should be sat so Koizumi-san will be able to hug you from behind."

……………….. [no thoughts, no words were coming out of my mind] But as my silence and stillness was prolonging, I felt a dark aura growing wildly behind me, and I knew the end of my life was near. However, Haruhi didn't say anything. In a very un-Haruhi-like way, she waited. Being confronted to this absolutely new situation, I found my body moving by itself and carefully sitting in the indicated position. As I did so, Koizumi didn't even dare chuckle. Was there something I was missing and everybody else knew?!

"Koizumi-san, please throw your arms around Kyon-san's neck. Kyon-san, please lean unto Koizumi-kun as he is leaning unto the wall."

My all-present surprise being left aside for a while, I wondered how Akiko-san could just give out this kind of orders without any shame or embarrassment, as if it was the most natural thing ever. Koizumi did as told of course. Hey, if you are going to choke me, do it after I yell at Haruhi for all the things she ever did to me! His hands felt strangely lifeless (don't tell me you're a ghost!) Just like obeying an order, there wasn't anything more to it; this made me feel quite at ease, though it's odd admitting it. But what happened afterwards is even odder and the most embarrassing thing that I ever did. You see, as I have already mentioned, I didn't really manage to sleep properly – so, I was almost lying down, as somebody was holding me… Forgetting for a second of my situation and my surroundings, my body acted selfishly against my will and I closed my eyes… Because it was silent (the shock?!) I soundlessly fell asleep for a minute or so. I shot open my eyes and freaked out, being rashly woken up by different tonalities of "Kyaaa!".

"Awww, I just can't believe it! You guys ARE the real thing!" shouted out Hayashi-san.

"Soo cutee! Kyon-chan is soo cuuutee!" moaned Shuu as I felt the sudden urge to slap her dead.

The practical one just yelled mercilessly: "Kyon! How can you fall asleep on your job just like that!? You're to be punished!"

Why ain't you overjoyed like these crazed fangirls? Could it be that you are actually more normal…? Remembering Koizumi who was still clang to my neck, I was astonished at his capacity to fake a casual appearance. However, you ain't deceiving me – it was clear that he was trying hard not to make any funny faces or provide with fanservice in his usual manner – what are you trying so hard for?! I _did_ tell you to do so, but to actually do it without stain like this… Just who are you, where is the real you? Are you doing it out of loyalty to your Organization? Because you want to get closer to solving the mystery that is Haruhi while using me to reach her? I couldn't possibly understand how under these abnormal circumstances somebody could repress himself so much.

"This is wonderful. Hayashi-sensei, not even in my wildest dreams have I imagined such perfect models… I am amazed with sensei finding them in our school…" obviously said Akiko-san, the only one to use such language.

Wait, what do you mean by "this school"…?

"Ahaha, we've had models before… but they weren't really in sync as you two are… they used to be quite plain so we had to imagine them more than take them as they were…" answered the said "sensei".

So that's why Akiko-san is like this… Still, to use people in this way seemed quite strange, not to say I wonder if they were even paid. Maybe they were just poor victims like us… And I and Koizumi are NOT "in sync"!

"Oh, I just remembered… Remember it, Shuu? _That_ time."

"Shuu remembers. Our first models…" she said with a dreamy expression.

"Seems like it already passed so much… We were on our first "scouting mission" and we dressed pro-ish, scouting Akihabara…" laughed Hayashi-san.

"Yeah, and then we saw those guys on the bench, but they refused."

"Then we went to the 3rd store to the yaoi and yuri section and shot glances around, looking for people who would be glad helping us…"

"And that's how I met everybody~" unexpectedly said Ritsuka.

"It was such a strange encounter… Sensei was a second year, but Ritsuka was still in middle-school."

"When I saw him, I knew he was to be ours." laughed again the president.

"Sensei asked me and I, uh, finally accepted, and then I came here to high school in order to properly join the club… It was more like I was "made" to stay, but I came to enjoy it…" smiled brimmingly Ritsuka.

Jeez! They even corrupted a poor middle-school student…

"But with that older seme we had so many problems…"

"Yeah, we had been careless that time." said Hayashi-san with a serious expression. "When I realized Ritsuka-chan was in danger I rushed to do something, but it was too late… Fortunately, somebody else had been there…"

"Akito-sama appeared that time…" said Ritsuka with a grateful expression.

Akito-sama…**(3)**?! Did they have some kind of harem or something…?! These people…

"He means Akiko-chan." added the president.

What do you…?! Don't you tell me…?! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!

"What sensei says is accurate. My name is actually Akito, just as Ritsuka-san is saying. As I had some issues with that man, I banged the door open, pardon my expression, and…"

"…and he shot him dead!" shouted Hayashi-san. "I arrived at the point and I was so amazed I couldn't utter a word…! I picked up Ritsuka who was trembling in a corner and I stared at the boy who held a handgun and was dressed up in a formal kimono! I thought I was inside of a manga, no joke!"

BOY?! MURDERER?! Yeah, definitely a manga…

"Then the next day, this beautiful girl came to our clubroom, saying she wanted to return something to Ritsuka-chan. I didn't know a thing, but sensei made a face I thought I would never see…"

"I have already apologized for that day, but I will do it over and over again, because sensei saved me… with a price too small to pay. Sensei agreed to help me cover up for that man's death and in exchange I were to spend my high school working for the Manga Club. But I was overjoyed I had received a second chance, the me who had fallen into darkness and had been swallowed by a foolish thing called revenge…"

As I was wondering why they were telling us everything just like this, Haruhi randomly said a surprising thing, given her usual character:

"It's good you were forgiven Akiko-chan. I… would've done the same for my brigade members."

The fact that I was in the same room with a passion killer was frightening me to the core. The fact that this person was using that tone to order people around finally made sense – from now on, another fear was to keep me from escaping this fate. The fear that Akito's obsessive loyalty for the president and the club would follow me everywhere, had I dared do anything to spoil their project.

"Then, can we please continue?" said the killer.

"Oh yeah." remembered Hayashi-san. "Tamura-san only joined us this year, so we don't have many memories together, but she is very good at manga, and she had read a lot more than Shuu or Akiko-chan."

"Let's make many memories together!"**(4)** answered Tamura-san cockily.

The manga club members all laughed for an unknown reason. They were freaking me out. Koizumi, who hadn't said a thing ever since, finally opened his mouth to say:

"Akiko-san, can we get up now?"

Aren't you surprised at all?! This guy dressed up as a girl committed a crime, and these people casually covered for it! I can almost hear the cicadas crying… **(5)**

"Yes, you are to change your positions so you can have a short break." said Akito and eyed Ritsuka, who immediately presented him with a cup of tea.

I and Koizumi stood up and cleansed our uniforms of the dust, and we received tea as well. I must say I wasn't feeling really good, but everybody failed to notice. Just as I was thinking Asahina-san would have immediately noticed, Koizumi discretely placed a pill in my hand, while avoiding to look at me in order not to arouse suspicion. Poisoning was highly possible, but I decided my headache shouldn't be let loose and I gulped it down when nobody was looking. Haruhi was busy to express her artistic views to the team and I tried to get out of my mind the fact that there was more torture to come. After a bare five minutes, Akito said it was time to get back to work, and everybody turned their attention to us once again.

"Kyon-san, I want you to lay down, facing the ceiling."

It's like you're telling me to roll around in mud! I won't be able to wear my uniform anymore after this!

"Kyon, you're annoying me." said Haruhi on a serious tone. "Why are you so obstinate in not following orders? These people are really working hard in order to achieve something, while all you did since the day you've been born was complain!"

Now, this is going a bit too far. And Haruhi wasn't joking either. While feeling her rage for a second, I reconsidered. An unknown force was making me regret upsetting her and I complied without a word. Apparently, Koizumi had nothing to do as of now so he was silent – oh, how I envied him! At least I was alone, so it wasn't that embarrassing… to some extent. My headache disappeared, and I inwardly thanked Koizumi for doing something decent once in his life.

"You can get up now." said the president while grinning. "Akiko-chan?"

"Yes. Now, Kyon-san, I want you to get as close as you can to the wall and face it."

Huh?! I reluctantly faced the wall and felt like I was a little kid being punished. I did not have the bravery to voice any other complaint, but this was because I was assuming it would be again just me.

"Koizumi-san, I want you to go and stand behind Kyon-san, and lift his arms while pinning them to the wall."

Shuu whistled and I was about to throw up. Koizumi did as told, in a very stiff manner.

"That won't do, Koizumi-san. Please lean closer, there shouldn't be much space between you and Kyon-san's back. Also, please tilt your head over Kyon-san's shoulder, as if you were saying something in his ear."

The humiliation had reached unexpected levels. I swallowed hardly, while my hands were gently kept on the wall by yet another pair of hands, and the breath of a certain person was tickling my ear. I could feel the warmth of his body over mine, and being so close to the bastard drove me crazy – even if I wanted to move, I wouldn't have been able to. I could feel the glare of Haruhi in my back, still displeased of something and searching for a reason to murder me. Just when I thought I was going to snap, Akito said:

"You can let go now."

Koizumi swiftly let go of my arms, while rapidly distancing himself from me. I could see he wore a troubled look, and I didn't really comprehend the reason of not showing off his usual fake smile – Haruhi was still in the room, he had a role to play, like he used to point out himself! Why wasn't he wearing his mask? Koizumi not acting like he was supposed to made me feel insecure, like something was very wrong.

"That's quite enough for today!" said Hayashi-senpai. "Three days left to go! Everyone, let's do our best and finish this off as soon as possible!"

I exited without bothering to greet anybody. I felt something very heavy on my chest and I just wanted to get home and sleep, detaching myself from this reality; it was way too painful. Such a serious fight with Haruhi, Koizumi out-of-character and not seeing Asahina-san's smile were a bunch of things I found hard to swallow. I haven't seen Nagato's reassuring figure either, so I couldn't tell if this was one of those "situations" or only me being paranoid. After saying goodbye, Koizumi followed me and after exiting the school ground, he finally spoke up.

"There is something I must tell you."

For some reason, I couldn't really face him out of embarrassment, but I bravely turned to him my blushing face and asked:

"What is it?"

"As I suspected, it's "closed spaces"… They appeared again last night and I'm afraid they'll appear again today, considering how angry was with you Suzumiya-san."

I frowned and totally forgot about feeling strange or blushing.

"You mean it's my fault?! She's getting exactly what she wants, what's her problem?!"

"I am afraid it is indeed your fault, but for now I cannot tell for sure. Either way, I…"

At this point Koizumi's voice trailed off and his features distorted again. That insecure feeling returned to me in an instant, so I asked:

"Are we currently in a crisis? Is there a danger of Haruhi trying to destroy the world?"

Koizumi shook his head as a response.

"How can I repay you for the things you were forced doing today? There is no way I could repay you, and even if you did them, Suzumiya-san was still not content. I'm afraid at this point of time, neither I know what does she want exactly. I might have been misleading you into thinking that doing everything she says is the safe way out of trouble, but now I'm not so sure about this."

You mean everything of this crap was USELESS?!

"I don't know, I don't think it was useless but…"

Snapping, I grabbed him by his collar and yelled in his face:

"Stop screwing around! You've made a fool out of me and of course there's no fucking way of ever repaying me!"

Pushing him aside, I panted heavily. I've never seen him losing his composure like this before; he just couldn't believe I was throwing a tantrum (neither could I…).

"Listen here you bastard! Do something and be sure about this goddamned situation or I'll kill Haruhi with these two hands!"

Kill Haruhi?! What the hell was I thinking when saying that?! Koizumi turned pale and turned his back against me. I could no more see his face.

"Come tomorrow as well, I beg of you. I… have to make sure of it… I… I'm very tired."

With these words, Koizumi boarded the train without turning to face me again. I felt very sad without being able to explain it. This person, no matter how much I couldn't stand him before, he was trying his best to keep up a mask everyday, while suppressing his real self. Compared to the selfish me who had been complaining from the day I was born, just like Haruhi said, this person was trying to do something. Save somebody. Save me. Please, somebody, save me.

* * *

**(1) Romanian folk tale reference - in the story, the antagonist tells the hero who is trapped in a well he will never see sunlight again if he won't obey him.**

**(2) Inuyasha reference**

**(3) Akiko/Akito - Fruits Basket manga reference. Also, 'Ritsuka' is a character in a shonen ai managa/anime (Loveless) and 'Tamura Hiyori' is the fujoshi (yaoi fangirl) in Lucky Star. Just the names were used as a pun, my OCs have nothing to do with the actual characters.**

**(4) Loveless reference - since it's a shonen ai manga, Kyon has no idea what they are laughing about.**

**(5) Higurashi no Naku Koro ni reference**


	4. Day 3, the end of the game

I woke up frightened in the middle of the night, and barely remembered I went to sleep right after eating lunch, and that because my mother had insisted – I had just wanted to shut my mind down for a while, stop thinking about unnecessary things. However, my dreams haven't been that pleasant, and my head ached once again because I had slept too much.

Dizzily, I got up and turned on my computer, put on my headphones so I won't disturb anybody and started to listen to some old songs. I felt horrible and did various things in order to keep myself away from over-thinking, praying that morning would never come. Was Haruhi having bad dreams and destroying things in an alter reality because of me? Was Koizumi struggling to fight off some light giants because of my selfishness? I was never really self-conscious, but I couldn't help feeling a little guilty. I have never seen Koizumi being so straight-forward before, usually he would've spoken a half of hour before actually telling me the truth, but today… today, there had been no time to be wasted (well, yesterday…). What did Haruhi really want? Only this question, I couldn't understand, neither answer.

I felt asleep again close to dawn and slept for an hour or so before my sister noisily woke me up. Without having done any homework, without being able to eat breakfast, I dragged myself to school, not even an ounce of hesitation in my steps; I didn't feel like I had a choice, I felt like a puppet being manipulated from the shadows. And there was one more thing… the back of Koizumi slowly fading away.

Arriving at school, I couldn't believe my eyes when Haruhi didn't even greet me and banged her head to her desk, instantly falling asleep during homeroom. I didn't feel like talking to her either, but still, it made me feel strange for some reason. I checked again, but it was indeed Haruhi and not Asakura sitting behind me. The classes were terribly boring, but I had my eyes wide open because of not sleeping properly and so, feeling very tired, I had some sort of the taste of "Koizumi's medicine".

Adding up to that, he was a top student – how could he keep that up? I hated admitting it, but I had been thinking about Koizumi a lot lately. Why, you ask? Well, that's because whenever I thought about how Haruhi was insane, my head was starting to spin. I thought that until now me and Asahina-san had been Haruhi's only innocent victims, considering Nagato was Nagato and Koizumi seemed to be enjoying everything. But it looked like he actually wasn't. It was undeniable he found some things and Haruhi herself interesting, but for that he had to live in an endless lie.

And so, after the classes ended, Haruhi finally faced me and told me without even looking into my eyes:

"Mikuru-chan has called in sick today as well. I'm… worried about her."

WHAT?! Asahina-san has…? We should visit her right away!

The truth is I was very worried about this… what if she went back to the future? What if she had been kidnapped? I had to do something!

"Kyon, I have made a promise to the Manga Club. You'd better stop fooling around today, for Mikuru-chan's sake!"

How's that for her sake?! We have to hurry up to her place!

"No you're not going!"

Excuse me?!

"I'll go later with Yuki, that's why I have to finish fast today's business! Just do whatever they tell you, got it? I'm sick of yelling at you every day!"

YOU are sick!? And why can't I come see Asahina-san?

"Because you're annoying!" Haruhi meaninglessly said in my face, because she couldn't name the exact reason for denying me my happiness.

I was getting angry, and my anger kept bottling inside.

"Welcome again!" said Hayashi-senpai when we reached the manga clubroom.

Koizumi was already inside, sitting on a chair and sipping a cup of tea, with a slightly melancholic expression on his face. Ritsuka was strangely happy as usual, the killer was silent and Tamura-the-bitch chirped around Koizumi, probably asking him embarrassing stuff. I felt the need to see Nagato and hear that everything was alright. However, that wasn't to happen that day.

"If you are ready, can we start now?" asked Akito.

"Of course, go on." said Haruhi.

"We should do those important parts already." said the president pensively. "Akiko-chan, please."

"Yes, I understand."

I finally realised that the person called Shuu was missing. Not that it made any difference, but I had my doubts, either way.

"Then, let us start. Kyon-san, I would like you to stand over there."

Okay, I think I can do that.

"Koizumi-san, please face Kyon-san and take his head in your hands. Kyon-san, please lower your head."

Great. Koizumi's hands grabbed my face and held it tight, like he was afraid of it falling off. I could finally feel his desperation. He was staring straight into my eyes, with a clarity I thought him unable of displaying. The real gaze of Koizumi. The squeals were drifted far away, but that didn't mean I didn't feel bad yet again. Haruhi was giving off that bad vibe as usual, and I didn't understand why. I especially avoided complaining, in order for Koizumi to establish if this was the thing upsetting Haruhi and turning the world upside down. However…

"Perfect! Can we film you guys at night? We would make billions!" joked Hayashi-senpai.

I didn't laugh. Haruhi answered for her subordinates:

"No. That would mean more than a half of those billions would go to the SOS Brigade, anyway."

Koizumi's hands trembled and let go of my face. At that point of time, I didn't understand a thing. That was because I couldn't exactly accept Haruhi's way of thinking, neither her feelings.

"I guess it's enough of this." said Akito.

"Koizumi-kun, why did you let go before being told so?" complained Haruhi.

"I'm very sorry, my arm suddenly started aching." answered Koizumi without facing the brigade commander.

"Well, bear with it!"

The strictness of Haruhi was reaching paroxysm. WHY?! Why did she care so much about a manga made by some people she barely knew?! Why was she forcing me and Koizumi into something like this?! Surpassing the stage of a joke, the situation was worsening. After being told off by Haruhi probably for the first time, something changed in Koizumi's expression. I couldn't exactly understand what happened, but I was soon to find out.

"Kyon-san, please lay down like yesterday, and Koizumi-san, please place yourself on top of Kyon-san, using your hands and your knees as balance points."

You've gotta be kidding me!?!!?! No way in hell! I guess even Napoleon at Waterloo was happier than I was at that point. As I was already laid down, Koizumi did exactly as told, moving as if he was some sort of android. Nagato's image suddenly popped up in my head. But as I'm trying to crack jokes here, I seem to purposely ignore the people around me close to fainting over nosebleeds, the horrible feeling of the cold floor and the distant eyes of Koizumi.

"Why won't you just do it?"

"Rip his clothes off!"

"Rape him now!!!"

I could hear all of these things and still pretend I heard nothing. I hated these people and I started to stop caring at a point. But at that time, a familiar voice raised up:

"Why won't you kiss him already?"

Defiant and strong, the displeased voice of the one commonly labeled as 'god' by the 'Organization' had just given out an order to Koizumi Itsuki, adjunct of the SOS Brigade and member of that same 'Organization'. I was terrified, and couldn't understand a thing. What sort of sick fantasy did Haruhi have? Why were we playing in it? Koizumi's glance was like steel; I could see his eyes glowing dangerously for the first time in my life and finally understood that I didn't know him at all. I had no idea who Koizumi was or how he was really like. I used not to give a damn. Staring me down with something closely resembling hatred, he tilted his head and got closer to my face. I couldn't even scream in protest – his lips were instantly glued to mine. In that moment, something broke inside of me. Something small, but very important. I couldn't quite name it, but some would call it 'love'. The one standing behind us turned her head away from the reality she created herself. She couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it as well. Not necessarily this reality, but it was her who I couldn't stand then. In a second, I stood up, pushing Koizumi aside and shouted the loudest I did in my life:

"THIS IS ENOUGH! I'M SICK OF BEING TOYED AROUND WITH! I'M OUT OF HERE! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT, HARUHI!"

I couldn't believe the expression of shock plastered upon her face. I could never forget it. Of course, anybody else was shocked as well. Koizumi looked like he was about to have a heart attack. No, wait, he wasn't… That's the mask, I can see that clearly now… Those sharp eyes were still there, and he wasn't wavering at all. It looked like he had already made his decision. I decided as well. With big steps, almost like running away I went to the door and opened it. Before exiting, Haruhi finally yelled back:

"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO, KYON?! HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME, THE COMMANDER?! YOU'RE OUT NOW, YOU'RE OUT OF THE SOS BRIGADE!"

I suppose she didn't expect my answer, because she froze in her tracks and remained silent after that.

"Then you can count me out."

Goodbye to Asahina-san's tea, goodbye to the silent Nagato, to the mad Haruhi and eventually to the world as we know it! Why isn't Koizumi in this list?

Because he followed me, without a word it's true, and without the intention of leaving the SOS Brigade, but he followed.

I exited North High, but I found myself clueless as in what to do next. I had wanted to ask Nagato about things, but now I wasn't calm enough for that. I had wanted to visit Asahina-san and make sure everything was alright, but after being forced into something like this, I couldn't even face her. After everything that happened, I doubted Haruhi would've ever forgiven me. But the thing was I couldn't forgive her either, for doing something so meaningless. I turned to Koizumi, who was silently waiting three steps behind me.

"Can we go somewhere right now?" I asked.

"Of course. You can come to my house."

This was a different person, definitely not the Koizumi I knew. The sharp eyes, the distant look and the cold demeanor. There was not even the trace of a smile on his face.

"It looks like you still haven't got it, so I'll have you listen to it properly."

What?! How come you're speaking like this, without the usual bullshit? Ignoring me, the Koizumi who wasn't Koizumi said:

"Just follow me."


	5. The shape of despair

"_Just follow me."_

I did as told. We went to the station and boarded the train Koizumi used to board by himself, and stood up for about 20 minutes. I looked at his face, and made again some sort of decision; I didn't understand a thing, but I knew for sure that it had been enough. I've had enough of Haruhi and her ideas, of the whole listen-to-her-or-the-world-will-crumble-down. I won't deny that I had fun all this time, and that I used to find everything interesting, even if exhausting. I had wanted to meet aliens, time-travelers and espers as well. I had made that choice during that Christmas time. However, there are limits to everything.

The fact that Koizumi, the one who used to glorify Haruhi had somehow betrayed her, indicated me that this situation which ran out of control was to be stopped. Haruhi needed a lesson, she needed to understand that you cannot always have it your way, no matter if you are a mere human or some sort of god. Koizumi looked sad, but also angry. I felt anger myself. I felt it was impossible for me to continue living on like this. Something had to be done.

After getting off at a random station, Koizumi guided me on a bunch of small and dark streets, after we finally reached an apartment complex. He lived at the highest level in a large studio, all by himself.

"Please make yourself comfortable, I'll go make some tea."

Do not let yourself deceived, this courteous line wasn't said by the old Koizumi, but by the real one, and it had a rather unpleasant sound to it. Reluctantly, I got myself seated on a white leather couch and waited. There was a rather simple living room, in a European style. Aside of the couch, there were all sorts of gadgets which I couldn't recognize, a desk and a bookcase. I noticed there was some sort of stairs leading to the roof. Everything gave off an awkward feeling. After a few minutes, Koizumi brought the tea and dragged himself a chair next to the table in front of the couch.

"Here."

It tasted like poison, but I still gulped it down knowing I couldn't do any better either. Koizumi stared me down, not touching his own cup, and said after a while:

"I also have juice."

After this apparently random comment, he did not move to bring the juice, but instead said:

"How could have you been so stupid?"

What?! What do you mean?! Now it's my fault?!

"It's precisely your fault. But I won't deny I had been stupid as well for failing to notice."

Failing to notice what? What did exactly happen with Haruhi?

"Now how should I put it…" he pondered while lowering his gaze. "I think I should start from the moment when Suzumiya came to the clubroom announcing our participation in the manga club's project and pushed me over the table."

I couldn't stop my cheeks from turning red, but more because of the anger of remembering. Wait, are you calling her just 'Suzumiya'? The shock was just too great…

"So, what about it?"

"Suzumiya had been very bored at that time, and because she had no idea what activity to do, she suddenly remembered one thing from the past. That would be the time when she helped the Music Club and performed at the cultural festival. So, remembering that there were other clubs in our school, she went on scouting them , hoping she would find something interesting or mysterious."

"And so she reached the Manga Club?"

"That's accurate. And there's one more thing… the gratitude she had been repaid when doing something for others' sake, she remembered that as well. Getting to know something new, that would be the activity of the Manga Club, she was instantly fascinated, but did not quite realize the complexity of such things and the consequences that would follow. Being encouraged by everybody's enthusiasm, she didn't even notice her own feelings."

Now you've lost me. You mean she'd actually been doing this for the sake of the Manga Club, even if she didn't really want it?! Haruhi is not the type to do things against her own will!

"No, she isn't, but her will is also hidden from herself. While feeling satisfied when gaining others' admiration, she did not realize that this was hurting her. You are not the only one who had been stupid, but I must say I had a bad feeling. That was after our first visit to the Manga Club, when I told you I'm sad because of going against her will, even though I had said her will was close to law. That was when I first thought about the unfolding events not to be her actual will…"

So she didn't want to do any of these crazy things? Then why…?

Koizumi frowned, preparing to say something which he found very difficult. Why didn't I notice his sighs, why haven't I asked myself about the hatred in his eyes?

"Why, you ask? First, she had been overwhelmed by the events… And afterwards, when she felt something was not right, she dared you even more, she got desperate…"

Dared me?! Desperate?!

"I am only going to tell you this once. I have no choice but to say it."

He leaned closer to me, and I could feel his gaze lock unto my eyes, like he was trying to hypnotize me. I found it to be a little scary.

"I'm listening."

"From the very beginning, after realizing something was off, Haruhi had wanted you to do something and oppose the events, in other words, she didn't want you to obey her. When seeing your attempts to disobey she wasn't satisfied and got even harsher because she had wanted you to do more, to break the chains which kept her locked, her promise to the Manga Club. And she had come to hating everything because she could not stand it – seeing you being close to me."

What?! So she didn't like yaoi then?

"No you idiot. That was because she loves you."

I went wide-eyed, and in that exact moment, Koizumi leaned even closer and while running his fingers through my hair, he pressed his lips against mine. I understood. How could I not? Everything became crystal clear, and Koizumi's sorrow seemed endless. His love for Haruhi and his hatred for me. The desire to understand the beloved of his goddess. Now, the hatred for not observing him, for using him, for not treasuring his support. The need for revenge, wanting to steal away the only thing she cared about. That would be me. I had become an object being disputed between two superior beings.

Even so, even if I lied to myself and to others about me not caring about Haruhi, even if she could have been god… today, at the Manga Club, when she went berserk and made Koizumi kiss me, that thing which could be named my love for Haruhi broke. She had disappointed me, she made me hate her and throw her away, even though she needed me in order to keep living in a world which did not accept her. She had got angry at Koizumi for the first time and denied his loyalty only because it was her who had made him do something like that. Even if it had been her fault, she shoved it on us. I didn't want to forgive her, it had been just to painful. I guess I wanted to prove she was no god and she had to accustom with living like any other human, without getting everything she wanted, whenever she wanted it.

I guess that after three days of nightmare, I finally felt relieved in the arms of Koizumi, who hated me so much. As I had had enough of a certain person's love, I felt at ease with not being loved. Koizumi continued kissing me and I closed my eyes shut while he circled round the table and came in front of me. Without stopping for a single second, he removed my blazer, pushed me on my back on the couch and then proceeded with unbuttoning my shirt. The irony of life was almost unbearable: after being so tormented these days because of the 'boys love' thing, now I ignored it completely and did not feel anything was bad or strange.

It was very simple actually, I had nothing to do because Koizumi looked like he knew what he was doing, and I wasn't flustered at all.

I tried hiding from myself the fact that I was treated like an object and humiliated by a person I used not to stand and who hated me, the fact that my first time was just meaningless revenge for healing my broken heart and that I was to hurt the person I used to care most about. I tried ignoring all these as Koizumi went down on my body with his kisses and after getting rid of his own blazer, unbuttoned my pants and threw them on the floor. It was almost like he was planning to kill me, he didn't give a damn about my body or feelings, he was just taking the shortcut for relieving his anger.

Had he wanted to do this with Haruhi? Only the thought of it made me throw up, even though I said I didn't care anymore… The next thought I had felt very heavy, and I couldn't totally accept the me who had thought it, but alright, here it is… _'You can have me, but stay away from her. I'd do anything so you'd stay away from her.'_

Koizumi was not gentle at all, but he didn't seem really experienced either. After stripping me of my boxers, he rolled me over and I couldn't even breathe as my face drowned into the soft sofa. After some sounds which presumably meant Koizumi getting rid of his own pants and underwear, I felt his cold skin as he got on top of me and proceeded with hurting me even more. In that moment, I could sense it… his hatred for me, stronger than anybody else's. I remember trying to yell him to stop, waving my hands and trying to get up, but none of these worked – he didn't give a damn about me or what it felt like being in my position; it was obvious he truly wanted me to suffer, both physically and psychologically. Koizumi had always been a bastard. I now disliked him even more than I used to.

I must admit it felt a bit good near the end, but at that time, my body ached so much I could feel barely nothing. After literally finishing me off, he left me laying there and put on his own boxers, somehow unfazed. I only managed to change the position of my head for a bit, and now I could see the room around. I noticed Koizumi had disappeared and heard noises from the kitchen – some glasses broke. I hardly lifted my body and put my clothes back on, with the odd feeling of feeling refreshed but also very tired.

I sat stiffly on the couch, with my hands in my lap, like a middle-school kid in an unfamiliar environment. After a short while Koizumi came back, wearing only his boxers and unbuttoned shirt and carrying two glasses with orange juice. After putting them on the table, he started out of the blue:

"There is still something I didn't tell you, and I'm certain you aren't going to like it."

I shivered at the sound of his voice like I had just been woken up, and wearily asked:

"What is it?"

"After getting away from the closed space yesterday night, I had an unexpected encounter."

I gulped down my glass of juice. You mean…?

"It was Asahina-san from the future."

WHAT?!

I jumped out screaming. I got dizzy, so eventually sat down, under the mindless gaze of Koizumi, who for some reason felt very distant and out of reach.

"I suppose you remember the script Suzumiya-san wrote for the Manga Club?"

That absolute piece of crap? Don't tell me you….?!

Where did that '-san' come from?!

"No, it would be impossible for me to kill the Asahina-san from this timeline since Asahina-san big exists. However, Asahina-san skipped classes because she did indeed return to the future."

NO!!! WHY?! Wasn't it you who said Haruhi didn't really mean this thing to happen?! Therefore, why….?!

I was basically in despair, and there was no longer anyone who could save me. Either way, I did no longer deserve Asahina-san's kindness. However, for her to leave this soon…

"No, you have misunderstood. She did not return to the future because Suzumiya-san wished so in that meaningless script, but because the situation degenerated and Suzumiya's instability threatened to become a problem. According to the big Asahina-san's words, they are currently trying to decide upon a course of action which would preserve the future intact."

You mean you lied when you said there is no danger of her destroying the world?! If things are this bad, I, we…, I mean…

"The Organization does not consider the situation to be critic. If you remember, mine and Asahina-san's factions have opposite views regarding Suzumiya-san, and their point of view is not important to us. Asahina-san big just wanted me to carry this message to you, because she couldn't meet you in person. I am not lying. Also, Nagato's role is to observe, so she hasn't warned you of anything, because the SOS Brigade is not in danger. I'm not sure about Suzumiya throwing you out either."

You mean I am still part of the SOS Brigade?! But there's no way I can face Haruhi again, after everything that happened… Things are going to break down and then the situation is really going to be critic…

With a pensive look, Koizumi answered, after sipping from his glass of juice:

"Do you think I gave a damn about the world when laying you down on that couch?"

I couldn't help not to blush and frown at the same time.

"This means you're going all out?"

"Exactly. If Suzumiya wants to destroy me, you or the world, then be it. If the Organization will be after my head, be it. I couldn't care less."

You're walking the path to destruction willingly?! I did it as well when allowing you to do as you pleased, but I didn't really feel like having a choice…

"Everybody has a choice, and you had just made yourself mine, out of your own free will. It's not my problem that you're in denial."

In denial?! No, I had the same reason as you did… However, I still don't want this world to be destroyed because of me – the guilt would be too much.

His gaze pierced through me once again.

"Well, too late."  
I finally noticed the difference between me and him: I stood down properly dressed, politely talking, while he had messy hair and was lousily sitting on his chair, wearing only his underwear and a ruffled shirt. He spoke calmly, while I got all emotional. He was acting like a finished man who desired nothing more than death, while I was ready to face forward and concerned about the future.

"Is this what you really wanted? Do you want it to end like this just because Haruhi couldn't love your mask, since she doesn't even know the real you?"

He stood up and grabbed me by my collar, while angrily but calmly snapping me to the wall.

"I'll have you feel even more pain, until you'll be able to understand how _I_ feel."

His eyes did not waver and I started to fear him. I expected him to run berserk and shout insults, even beat me up, but I couldn't break that state of lethargy engulfing him. His arm choked me and I tried removing it, but the grip was too strong. I couldn't make a sound. I was going to die by the hands of the person who took everything away from me. After some seconds which seemed endless, Koizumi finally let go of me and I slide down the wall panting. I had underestimated him. I should have thought better about the expression "nothing to lose".

"You were scared you might die, but you lived. That's the feeling one gets when entering Suzumiya's closed spaces in order to erase her worries."

What do you…?

Koizumi was still up, and I was seated on the couch. Looking down to me, he said:

"I have never done anything to satisfy my own desires, except of what I did today. I don't have a past, or if I had one, it had been erased when Suzumiya recreated the world three years ago. Suzumiya had been all I had. But the truth is she had never belonged to me. She had been my world, so when I stopped caring about her, I stopped caring about the world. I'm not afraid."

Just when I was about to answer, the ground moved.

"Earthquake!" I yelled as everything faded to white.


	6. Haruhi

Upon opening my eyes, I instantly realized I was in a closed space. There was a terrible atmosphere and I couldn't breathe properly. I was still in my North High uniform, and the last thing I remembered was Koizumi telling me how he didn't give a damn about the world. I was standing on a deserted land, and a few steps away there were a bunch of abandoned buildings. I heard a strange sound coming from them, and I came to realize there were weeping sounds. Somebody was crying. I went into one of them and searched the rooms, but couldn't find anybody. I went on to another, and I started hearing the cry louder. I could feel I was getting closer to the person who was crying, and even understood it was a girl who was crying. After going up some stairs, I entered a room and in one of its corners my eyes met a sight I thought I would never see in my lifetime: curled down in a ball, her back against the wall, a Haruhi wearing plain clothes was weeping. I ran to her, asking:

"What happened?"

She raised her gaze to me and shook her head, tears still running down her cheeks.

"Haruhi! Snap out of it!" I screamed.

Haruhi stared at me like it was the first time she was seeing me, and finally seemed to realize her surroundings and her identity.

"Kyon?! What are you doing here?!"

"I… I don't know."

Why did I run up to her like this? Why did I still care?

My head started aching, and our surroundings changed out of the blue. We were in the literature clubroom, Haruhi was seated in her chair and wearing her uniform, and me and Koizumi were in our usual seats, playing chess. Strangely, Koizumi who sucked at games was winning. I felt awkward. Haruhi stared us down for a few moments, and then finally said to nobody in particular:

"So it was like this. I just can't believe it, it's just like a bad joke."

Unexpectedly, Koizumi answered:

"It couldn't be helped, right? It was the commander's wish, after all…"

"NO, I didn't mean it like this!!" Haruhi yelled and stood up, slapping her hands to her desk. "How could you do something like this, Itsuki?!"

Why is Haruhi calling Koizumi by his first name?! Wait, these replies… does it mean she know about what we did?!

"Of course I know!!! Did you think you could hide something like this away from me???"

Why is Haruhi able to read my thoughts?!

"It was exactly what you wanted, serves you right!" snapped Koizumi.

Haruhi looked outraged and yelled even louder, even though her eyes were getting teary:

"How dare you speak like this to me?! Just who do you think you are, Itsuki?! I never wanted something like this, it's just the fact that you betrayed me!"

She eyed me when she said "betrayed". I turned my eyes away. The building started to crumble.

"I will never forgive you, I will never accept it!"

"You'll the one who won't be ever accepted!!! Nobody gives a damn about you and there's nothing you can do! Not even a single person aside of us will ever love you!!!"

I was panicking, seeing Koizumi anger Haruhi to this point. I tried to accept the thought of my death and the vanishing of everything. There was no turning back. Haruhi started to cry but didn't stop screaming:

"NO, THAT AIN'T TRUE! EVERYBODY WOULD WANT TO BE PART OF THE SOS BRIGADE, SINCE I'M… A SPECIAL EXISTENCE, AFTER ALL!"

"Oh, really? Then why are people saying you are insane and ignore you? Why don't you have any other friends aside of us two? Asahina-san plainly hates you for the things you forced her doing, and Nagato doesn't even speak to you, that's how you appear in her eyes! You've dragged ////// by force and there's only me who came willingly, but you looked down on me! YOU ARE ALONE AND WILL BE ALONE FOREVER!"

"NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU LIE! STOP LYING TO ME!"

Haruhi went mad as she was trying to escape the avalanche of words and the pressure Koizumi was putting upon her.

"Koizumi, stop it! Stop it, goddammit!"

"Why should I? I'm sick of it! You should just shut up and obey me!"

Obey you?! Have you gone mad as well?!

Haruhi was screaming unintelligible things, fallen on her knees, as the walls were crumbling and the ceiling was about to fall down and kill us all. I just knew it in that moment: I wanted to live to see tomorrow!

"Haruhi, listen to me! You are not alone! I'm here, Koizumi is here as well! The SOS Brigade cares for you!"

I shouted as loud as I could, since the noise from the walls crumbling was overwhelming. Koizumi stared me down with anger.

"HARUHI! I FORGIVE YOU! I FORGIVE-"

The noise made my voice impossible to be heard, but I could see her raise her head for a second and look at me. Her face was all messed up, her tears were still falling, but I could see her force a smile to her lips. It was her most pathetic smile ever; I couldn't help not loving it. The building fell down on us and everything faded to black.

* * *

**////// stands for Kyon's real name.**


	7. Epilogue

I opened my eyes. I was laying on Koizumi's coach in Koizumi's studio, and beside the couch there was Asahina-san kneeled down gazing at me worriedly. On the chair there was Koizumi looking quite bad and on the floor there was Haruhi with her legs crossed, muffling on a waffle.

"Kyon-kun, are you okay?" asked Asahina-san.

I reluctantly nodded.

"Did he break something?" asked Haruhi.

"He seems to be fine… Does it hurt anywhere?"

"No, I'm fine." I said.

I didn't understand a thing.

"However, this was quite a powerful earthquake… I was afraid ////// wouldn't wake up…" said Koizumi with his usual dumb smile.

"No, he was made resistant…"puffed Haruhi. "You've worried us to hell Kyon, you'll have to pay back!"

What the fuck is happening here?!

"Kyon-kun, could it be that you don't remember what happened?"

No, I don't really…

"We gathered at Koizumi-kun's house in order to stargaze. It was a very powerful earthquake and I think you hit your head to something – you slept for 2 hours. Now it's 11 o'clock and I have to get home because my uncle is coming to visit, so we won't be able to stargaze anymore. Koizumi got hit a bit and stretched his arm, but he'll be fine. Yuki is on the roof and checking damage. End of story."

Thanks, Haruhi, now I'm even more confused. Was everything a dream, or is it this reality that's the dream?! Looking at Koizumi's face, he doesn't look like he remembers anything, and there is nobody else who knows about the situation… Wait, I have an idea!

"What about the Manga Club?" I asked.

"What's with that? Kyon, are you sure you're fine?!"

I see… So nothing happened… I said I wanted to get some fresh air and climbed up on the roof. The darkness was overwhelming and there wasn't even a trace of a star or the moon. A familiar silhouette was on the edge of the building, and I got closer to it.

"Nagato."

She turned and faced me, without a word.

"Do you have any idea of what happened just now? Do you have any recollection of Haruhi accepting a request from the Manga Club?"

After a few seconds of processing, Nagato answered:

"Magnetic earthquake caused by a closed space being destroyed and exploding into the previous timeframe. Alternative timeframe being created, no recollection of existence or proof of the previous one."

So it looks like I'm the only one who remembers anything…

"But did the previous timeframe really happen in reality?"

"Impossible to answer, but there is an 86,004% chance of it having happened."

So there is a 86,004% chance of me having slept with Koizumi in order to get some sort of revenge on Haruhi who made me model for the Manga Club. Just great. In order to make sure…

After everybody left, Asahina-san suggested I should rest a bit more before leaving, so I remained with the fake Koizumi in his studio.

"If you need anything, just tell me. If you feel too weakened, you can stay the night, there's no problem." Koizumi said in his courteous voice.

"Koizumi. Do you remember anything from the earthquake, do you remember me, you and Haruhi going to a closed space together?"

"I couldn't remember something like this, because no closed spaces have appeared for the last half of year. I guess it was just a dream, thank God for that." Koizumi lightly laughed. "I had been really at peace because Suzumiya-san had been enjoying herself so much."

Wait a minute… Nagato said the earthquake was caused by the explosion of a closed space… which means the previous timeframe _did_ happen, since there are no closed spaces in this timeframe! I remembered everything clearly, but nobody else did… My feelings from that timeframe, they had been real and yet they vanished away. Could it be that it was me who made Haruhi rewrite the past and start over? Did the closed space explode because of Haruhi's anger determined by Koizumi? Did Koizumi plan this from the beginning and did everything purposefully? There were lots of questions I was to never find the answer to.

But 'tomorrow' existed. It was right here, in my hands, to use it as I pleased. Haruhi still hasn't disappointed me in this timeframe, so I tried forgetting the memories in which I hated her. However, the fact of having admitted loving her remained in this timeframe as well. Asahina-san was still here. I had seen the real Koizumi, and even if in this timeframe I presumably don't know him, I think the real him I saw is also his real self in this timeframe. I found out his secret, and also his despair hidden under that smile. But that can't be helped. Because, in this whole world, there's only one Haruhi. And I don't ever want to see her crying again, because she will never be alone. I'm right here.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**Sorry for the chapters being split up so strangely, but I split them so while thinking about the content and not the lenght. Originally, this had been written as a whole, but I figured it was way too long to be a oneshot. Maybe it will be a prequel, if anybody asks me so. There are still some things which weren't cleared, so I figured maybe I'll tell that story as well. That would be more concerning Asahina-san and the story of Shuu from the Manga Club. Hope nobody's angry for turning this KyonHaruhi in the end, but I love Haruhi too much to just leave her alone.**


End file.
